Kau yang membuatku buntu
Membuatku tak tentu
Terus memikirkanmu
Biar tiada jalanku,jalanku

T'lah ku coba tuk nyatakan
Rasa di hati ini
Yang makin menghantui
Perasaan jiwaku,jiwaku

Chorus:
Biar hati ini mencintakanmu
Dalam khayal ku kan merindumu
Biar pedih sakit ...memilikimu
Namun hati takkan tuk berubah
Selamanya

Kau yg menjadikan cinta
Slalu menjadi rindu
Seperti waktu itu
Yang mengharung hidupku,hidupku

Ku yang bisa memerlukan
Slalu jadi mimpiku
Menjadi pemilikmu
Biar tak pernah tahu
Kasihku




FIND ME THIS SONG~!!
and i'll love you my whole life!
haha~

sings; wake up wake up wash your face and make a bumber *i think uh* shake..
ouuuuuuuh, shake it to the left.. and shake it to the right
and point to the east and point to the west and point to the one that you like best~!

haha
okay..
this song was the one i sang way back in K1
when Cikgu Yati taught me..
Music was the fun-est~!
last period~

but anywhats..
i am singing this song right now because of the "WAKE UP WAKE UP" part
kak N used to scream that part to me for me to wake up
heh~

AND BECAUSE..
i have been waking up late for school and have not entered class for 2 freaking days~
tsk tsk..
rabak kan atie?
heh~ ouh well..

so..
any kind souls can wake me up? heh.

i better get to bed now..
or adek is gna sleep on my favourite part of the bed..
nearest to the wall..
pfft~!

GOOD NIGHT ALL~
=))

never fails~
never ever..
always knows when i am down..
and always always makes me laugh, when i don't even feel like smiling.
pfft~

dier cam tau2 jek..
adi ilang dier dtg..
adi dtg balek dier ilang..
adi ilang lagi dier dtg..
fik dtg dier ilang..
bey skg..? hmmm..

whatever it is..
im just grateful to have such friends.

tapi kekadang aku cam serba salah dengan dier..
tau2 jek lau ader org ilang..
bey tau2 jek lau org lain dtg..


ouh wells~
gta go home noww~
i just wana hit the bed again.
prangai babi kan?
i noe
but i just feel super lethargic these days..
why? not sure ey~
maybe cus the bed is just so nice~
hehe..

cus this blog seriously needs to be hit with PICTURES!
so HIT IT!

BARRAGE DATE with Jay





RANDOM DAY with Jay



Sentosa Random-ness.. WITH JAY LAGI~ hehe

sometimes.. little things like this slip our little minds..

do you know that actually..
needs are more important than wants..?

you can definitely do without wants
but you can't do without needs

because you need your needs
and only want your wants

so your wants are just unimportant things that you shouldn't get
unless you need them and they become one of your needs

geddit?



and then i realise..
i want it
but i don't exactly need it
cus most of the time
even if i don't want to admit
i can live without it
but i just want it
cus i thought it would be good to have
but when i think back..
i can live without it
i have been living without it for a while
until i can't live without it
and realise it is a need instead of just a want
i'll seek for it

but if someone insist on giving it to me
i'll consider
who doesn't want to take something that he/she wants so much, right?
*winks*




and ouh
sometimes i just feel like making up stories to see if people care.
but so far..
i've done none.
mission unaccomplished.
sadded. not exactly~
i don't lie, remember?

so tell me,
what is life.. if it is filled with regrets?

well yes..
i was kind of regretting on having chosen this course
cus right now
i don't know where to go after these 3 finhal weeks of school
i really really don't..

i thought to myself
if i had choosen Nursing course like i wanted to
i would have a secured future of being a nurse

but..
i wouldn't have met the wonderful people i met over in RP would i?
=)

people like the two very important people in my life
Dee & Jay..

i wouldn't have known Endang
Dikir world w/o these gurls won't be as fun.
i won't straight away be a senior if i were to be in some other team..
hehe

i wouldn't have known Chiron
i wouldn't have a BF!
hahaha~
ouh well.. that part we don't know ekh~

if i were to be in nursing course
my days would be filled with attatchments
and i won't have time for work
and meet the wonderfull people like Fahila & Aliyyah~
kan kan kan?
yes yes.. and saiful n hala n sape2 lagi la kay~

so life..
with regrets..
ain't worth it!

so what if something was done wrongly..?
so what if we did something and it failed..?

lessons were still learnt, weren't they?

well..
whatever it is..
can or not
i will still look back and smile at everything.
no regrets~ =)

not even you

eh eh look~!
aku semangeeeet okay nak sambung blaja~
because Ibu wants to see me tru Uni okay~
but but..
i am very sure..
very very sure.. my GPA ain't fit for goverment uni~
-_-"

and the only uni is spore which has my course
yaaa.. i wana further my studies in the same line tho it sucks cus i don't understand the hugeeee science terms
is NUS
and their cohort is tiny!

so.. i doubt i can get through
what with caboting classes~
haha

and look at this~

i was looking through the course,
Bachelor of Science (Hons) in Pharmaceutical Management

the entry requirement was either of these..
* Foundation Certificate in Biomedical Sciences (FCBS);
* GCE 'A' Levels, preferably in science stream subjects (Grades CCD);
* Diploma in Biotechnology, Medical Technology or Biomedical Sciences
* Diploma/Degree in Chemical Process Technology/Chemical Engineering / Chemistry
* Diploma/Advanced Diploma in Nursing
* Diploma in Applied Food Technology
* Bachelor of Science in Engineering or Marketing/Management
* Certificate of Higher Education in Biomedical Sciences

* Mature applicants who possess relevant management or pharmaceutical experience will be considered on a case-by-case basis

WHAT THE HELL????
it is a degree in PHARMACEUTICAL MANAGEMENT FOR GOD'S SAKE!!
and they would only CONSIDER if you have pharmaceutical related experiance??

-___________________________-"
mangkoz!
hahahaha
dumb dumbbb~


so my dear lovelieeee sayangs~
are there anyother place where i can further my studies apart from MDIS or NUS?
research kills me already~ hahaha

Yeah bebs..
I need to go shopping again..

And to wait till sunday.. will b a killer~
damn..

So manythings in my head
but wen it comes to sitting n talking with the GFs,
I'd go dumb.. like I dunoe wt to tell dem at all..
Like I haf nothing to say at all.. And I hate that very much..!

I just wana get everything off my head..
This is just so.. I dunoe wat to say..

I'm tired of these unwanted feelings..
I really am..
But I dunoe how much longer this would end

atie penat.. =\

I dun wana b like this..
Tsk~
I hate this.. =\\

yupp~
it was an all smiles day!

apart from the dreadfully long and un-concentrate-able meeting three
and the complain session of the two GFs; Dee & Jay~

it all started in the morning when someone beat my alarm by abt half a minute by greeting me with a gud morning mxg~

school was a bore as usual
i was late by 15 minutes
but it doesn't matter.
i am always late for school la kan?
haha
went off half way through the 3rd meeting after the 4th team finish presenting

when home to take my name tag~
cus i dumbly forgot to bring it yesterday when returning the uniform
besides, Aliyyah said she would be having dinner there.
so GUUUUD!

and when i open the door
Ibu was suspiciously rushing out from my room and closing the door behind her.
very fishy~
i started questioning, like i always do~ heh

then..
i walked up to her
salamed her and open my room door.

guess what~?
IBU BOUGHT A NEW BED AND MATTRESS FOR ADEK & I~!!!

omg!!
and now i realise that the new mattress is a special kind,
for adek.
some backbone support thing
no wonder she kept forcing me to change the bedsheets that i bought to queen size.
she says she likes the pattern and wants it
-__-" yer la tu ibuuu~

then ibu wanted to follow me return the name tag
but i had to turn her down as i would be meeting the GFs
i think Ibu merajok with me sey..

anywhats
reached Novena before Jay did and Dee was still in school
smoked with Nakia at work
then looked at the cake display..

SECRET RECIPIE HAS NEW CAKES~!!
padehal padehal~ i went for the meeting the other time, the SC already told us~
haha

then Jay came and we ate cakes!
=))
i had the long wanted Chez Choc + Jasmine tea
while ms Jay had Pecan Butterscotch + Peppermint tea
then we bungkus-ed mud cake + choc I for us to menyekik while lepak-ingzz

GFs & I are VERY THANKFUL that we got this PERR
cus someone decided to pay for us!
THANKYOUUUUUUUUUUUU~ =))

Atie: Eh, mkn la korg. *insert name* baya tauu~
Dee: Ouh, dier baya eh? Aku baru ingat nak baya kau balek.. Tak pe la cam tu.. hee~

haha

ouh.
since Jay and I reached before Dee did
we bought drinks and snacks
went over to the busstop
waited for a while for Dee the off we went to our fave lepak spot~
been long eh bebs~

reaching, Jay spot her snail
and i was her first victim
then she spot another one and smack Dee
Dee went to smack Jay's right after being smacked and said;
"snail kau balek uh~"

hahaha~!
i couldn't stop laughing
i was literally gasping for air!
hahaha

bet you people reading don't understand this
unless you have went out with Jay and seen her going around smacking people's forehead cus she saw a snail.

reached. chillexed. joked. then complain session.
rather scared-ed listening to their stories..

walked to heeren
toilet-ed
OCK-ed *had my sotong wiiiiings*
then homee~

now now~
my new bed, mattress, pillow and blanket are calling me~
nyt nyt all..

and thank you mister for making me start my day with a smile. =))

whatever that is gna happen
let it be

no use saying one thing
mean another
do something else
and mean a total different thing

you confuse me
totally

i don't know what to do, say or think
so i'll decide to not do, say or think anything anymore

honest
i am tired

doing some thing is wrong
wanting to do the direct opposite isn't right too.

i'll take a pause right here.

tell me once its over.
tnx

so yesterday was rather uncalled for.
i tagged along with Kak N for her ITouch~
then hit Anchor Point.

i wanted a cap from BillaBong
but they didn't have what i wanted. =\

cotton on as usual~
and i bought 2 new tops.
sleeeeeevless leh -_-"
but i got a new jacket~
so yippie~

im wearing one now in school~
i thought of wearing the other
but it doesn't match with the jacket
so this will do..

and yesterday..
i was seriously contemplating on if i should buy the tank tops to wear with the jacket
cus seriously, i need new and niceeeee tanks..

and shoooooes
plain basic pumps.
i waaaaaaaant and need them.

looked at the whole lot of it at cotton on and was also contemplating to get them or not!
hahaha

but in the end i didn't
cus i though it would be nice to save some things in the shopping list for uncalled-for-stressed day = need for shopping~
haha

yes yes
im stuck to shopping now!

talking about shopping,
i am still figuring out if i should continue working once UT 3 ends..
but to think of it..
i think i better find another job and build up more memories; good or bad.

but having been in F&B line for quite a while
i wonder what kind of job i'll take up next.

what other jobs do students take up for part time apart from F&B n Retail right??
but retail..? hmm.. i don't know if im up for sales..

we'll just wait and see..
another hit of F&B won't hurt right?
but something new would be nice.. challenge~ =))

this time
it really is a freaking huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge MIXED of feelingS

anxious
nervous
scared
afraid

everything

it has been rather long
long enough for misunderstandings.

i don't know what to expect
no wait. i shouldn't be expecting in the first place~

gaaah~

I CAN'T SLEEP!

pfft~!
*breathe iiiiiiiiiiiiiin~
breathe ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut*

force myself to sleep uh
else i cn't concentrate in class..
waaah~
die la like this...

and ouh.
someone remind me to get my carrot+orange juice tmr.. or rather, later
please~ =))

day started out kind of well~
woke up late again
cus i slept late

OUH OUUH~!
i slept with the lappy on
and when i was awake
its off! hahaha..
i guess ibu just switched the power off.

woke up
wonder around the house.
thought there would be more help needed in the kitchen
cus Ibu was doing some catering~
but nope
i woke up too late to even cook the rice or pack the food
haha

went online and saw something which just made my heart went crazy
but that was.. well.. is fine now~
cus i just.. feel that.. things would go where ever it should
and we shouldn't stop it..
especially if we have tried umpteen times to make it go our way.
=)

anyway~
was so mad and crazy
went to take a shower

THEN~!
asked Ibu if i could go out
cus i really needed fresh air.
couldn't control myself just yet

and she said yess~!
=) wee~

planed somethings with Jay online
then off i went

send some kuih over to the mosque
then off to met jay over at her house

I MISS THAT LIL KID!
mariah da besaaaaa~
the other time i saw her at the house,
she was wearing nothing but pampers
crawling and trying to walk around the house
aww..
NOW DAH BESAR!
run here and there..

Jay was ready then off we went~
THEN WE HAD A STALKER~!
kan jay kan kan kan?
haha..

hit the digits at the ATM
saw a cab and hailed
jay took the fornt while i took the back seat~
THEN HE PULLED OPEN MY DOOR!!!
omg this lil kid ekh~
i had no choice but to scream at him to go back home~
hahaha..

OMG!

he let go of the door
i slammed it shut and driver vroooooooooooooooooooooooooom off~
hahaha

both of us laughing away with the driver.
haiizz~
slamat laa aku. Alhamdullilah!

so first we hit ION UniQlo
BUT~! the tank tops i wanted were no longer on sale~
back to the ori price of 1490~
that time was 990!!
=\
sadded~ we went off to Wisma Cotton On
to get jay's vest exchanged~ =)

walked around here and there
ad we ended up at Bugis
(via train of cus!)

ate at QiJi
we had NASI LEMAK~

then off to BugisStreet to find things~
AND AT LAST~!
i bought my things~
very satisfied~ =))

a total of $55 spent on food, travel and SHOPPING!

my bag is so cheap!!
FIFTEEN DOLLARS ONLY~!!!!
i loike! =)
hehe..

but~
my plan today was to clean up my super messy room..
but since i couldn't take the heat
and neither could i control my anger
i needed my doses of:
GF day/nyt out
smokiezz
*and this is new* SHOPPING~!!!
=)

i loike!
shopping does take things of my mind =)
and pocket too.. kachingss gone! haha

so i have learnt one thing today..
WORK HARD EARN BIG BUCKS AND SHOP TILL YOU DROP!
ouh im liking this..

and and~
did i tell yooooooooouuuuu people?
as i was about to ask Ibu if i could continue working after my test is over..
she said it
"uh, nnt test kau skola da abes, dah blh sambong balek keje kau tuu~"
OII! happy oi aku~!

tuan hamba amat berbesar hati.
bonda yang disayangi memahami perasaan tuan hamba~

HAHA.
STOP IT EKH ATIE!!!

and so~
when i reached home
i thought of getting this messy room done and over with tomorrow
then..

*knock2*
kak N: atie, bsk ko klua?
atie: tak. aku nak kemas bilik ni
kak N: alaaa~ ikot aku pi Holland V uhh~
pleaseeeee
aku nak bli IPod aku..
=)))

HAHA~
ya la~
seems like i have to postpone my intention of clearing this room~
haha..
hmm..
i wonder.. when will i get to it ekh?

and ouhz
im woried of one of my GFs~
dun worry bebehh~
atie to the rescue~!

serious.
lau aku tk leh pikul ko..
haha
aku carik org yg blh kay. hahaha..
ker amek krusi computer pt umah aku!
hahahahahaha

since young.
when i'm down
all i look for is a hug
cus this is what ayah gave me.
after all the scoldings and beatings and cryings
ayah will hug me with his huge arms and tummy

apart from wiping the tears away
*cus guys claim
and always will claim that
"they don't like to see a gurl cry"*
a hug is what you can give

and im a hug giver.
when people are down
when people are happy
any time..

and that is all i need.
hugs.

do you see it now?





and i'd rather keep crying
and wait fr ur actions

seriously.. the pictures or the MOOOVING pictures tak perlu kay.
so tak de kene mengene~ hahaha..

i think im gna chnge the skin again
cus navigation.. it ain't my thing~

then ima get a song player..
whatever it is.

and ouh~
today was great
tho not as great
haha

met up with Dee and Jaay~
tho it was short, short = sweet kan?
Aliyyah cnfrm suker ni line. short = sweet
haha
=))

yeap..
had short short convo with them
about their BFs and our ex-es..
stuuupid stupid irritating stories of the ex and funny ones too..
and of cus if they story of their bfs~ i shud haf someone to story abt la kan..?
no? nono.. dun haf. haha

irritz tau.
Dee n Jay story bout BFs
go lepak with Aisyah n Shyda.. cnfrm got Arep & Wan..
-__-"


anyway..
i wanted to be a good girl and get my 6th P-s~
but LEO just won't let me.
im so irritated.

OI DAH ONE AM~!
i think i better sleep.
nanti malas bangun lagi..
tak masok class lagi..
mampos aku~

nyts loves =)



and I still very much wana be in love with and be loved by you

as i sit cryin
i wonder who would hear me out
who do i ever talk to?

i miss dee
i miss dee very very much.
yes ms dian farini
i miss u a whole lot
even more than i miss him
because you are the only person who listens to me
as a friend and as a sister
and you give me the best of advises noone ever can

i miss dee
i miss jay
i miss the double combo
or triple if you see it as that

cus the three of us
just click like whatever that clicks.

can i have my dee and jay very very super soon please
apiz, yatt.. please pinjam kan ur GFs to me.
i need them badly



and getting all the wrong signals..
not helping.

i wana say something to you
but i crnt

idk~
u're like purposely doing this to me

tak pe la.
its okay.
perfectly fine.
i've been tru this
and i will go tru this agn.
yet agn
alone if i must.

i tried
i did my best
i tried to understand u
i tried to make u understand me
i tried to be better
i tried

but maybe it just wasn't enuf.

so tell me..
you giving up too?

i'm tired of having to keep thinking positive.
i'm really tired

if you think you should or can do something
go ahead.
i'd love to try and stay..
i wana try again, given a chance

but this..
and all these..

something..
just tell me something pweasee..
=\

im getting something else to constantly update my status.
cus obviously, like i said.. somethings on twitter is killing me..
not literally la of cus kan~ -__-"
but yah..

and i guess i'll just go emo alone at that new account.
smsyo also supports that account~
so yippie
can go ahead and update-date-daaaate via sms~ =))

so twitter would be the alternative
more happy thoughts there la kay

and i can see myself going crazy~
no wait.. i don't see myself apart from infront of the mirror.
so technically the sentance is wrong. *uhh pape la eh atie~*
i can like err.. feel myself going crazy

crazy of what?
everything bebeh~

i miss jay i miss dee
i miss the GFs @ NYP~
but most of all..
okay fine.

i keep tweeting about things which reminds me of him
ya..
i'll go crazy on tweeting too man~
lipas pon boleh jadik topic??
aku da confirm sort~

first was the sweet wrapper
then the dress
then the *opens twitter to check*
then the plaster
then the pullover
then clorets

haiyooo~


ouh ouh ouuuh~!
i was an almost butterfly gurl today~!
ahaha
excited much~
very!!!
hahaha

so well..
went to school in black and white.
wore the black n white dress
over-ed with black cardigen
and white belt WITH BUTTERFLY!
=)

then wore Jay's prezzie
butterfly neckless..
almost wore the butterfly earstudds too!
haha

cute kan aku?
ouhwell.. hahaha
*hiyak dush!*





b: u nak ape?
g: i nak u
b: okay. biler u nak?
g: skarang blh..?
b: blh~
g: blh ape?
b: boleh.. be.. boleh dapat la.. u pk ape?
heh~


okay aku confirm chop giler.

sings;
hati ini.. hancur dan..
er..
*ingat balek liriks*
alamak. luper uh gang~

OKAY AKU DAH OFFICIALLY START MEREPEK AKU.
chow~

i noe u crnt figure me out
cus i can't figure myself out right now.
what with PMS and withdrawal symptoms

i am the best liar because when i lie,
i lie my way through all the way
noone sees it excapt me

but when im with you
i never lied
cus all my feelings are true

i don't know how else to explain myself
cus i dun even think u'll understand.

u told me once u're nt gna break my heart
so i don't know if its still okay..
cus it still has not came back to me.

i need to talk to you
talk to me please..
that's all im asking for
to clear this thing which i cannot discribe.

buto la
ape kau nak sumer aku dah ikot kan
sumer nak denga kate kau kan

kau nan kakak kau same jugak
sumer ikot kater korang je

buto la~!

kau nak ni nak tu sumer aku ikot kan
musibat tol~

time laptop aku rosak
kau hog ni bende computer bodoh ni boleh
at least aku nak pakai aku cakap nan kau
pukul brape aku nak pakai
tu pon kau buat bodoh gak
aku ingat kan lagi aku pekik pat aku

bey ni skg ape??
suke2 kau nak pakai suro aku jalan.
pi mampos uh

kau pasang tu bende wireless bodoh dlu~
pastu kau nak tendang aku dri ni krosi comp, suke hati kau~

buto
kau tak penah nak respect aku kan.
sial la
sia2 je sak aku ikot kan apape kau nak slame ni
betol punye sial uh kau
samer gak nan kakak kau yang tu!
sial max pey perangai~!

i loikee..
she hot stuff ekh..
so preety~! =))

but then again,
this song is just a reminder..

and then i realise..
as i stood infront of the full length mirror in the sister's room
staring at my-chiron-tee-wearing-self..

i still do wana be part of chiron
be that VP who only make herself usefull when no one bothers to listen to the president anymore
be that member who screams at every single soul in the club room because no one was paying attention to waht was being discussed
being atie; the atie that they complained to

i still do wana be part of Endang
be that awok who was once the so called better one
be the time keeper
be the ragam coordinator or so to speak
be the best awok i can ever be
and probably play that very insturment i've always wanted to, for the very last competition

i still do wana be part of the crew
making the stupid-est mistakes no one can imagine
being the technician like i am at home
be the gossip maker, or so to speak
be the laughing partner and self-entertainer
just be there to make the place less quiet when no customer is around

and as much as i hate to say this
i still do wana be loved by someone
be in the warm cuddly arms of a loving man

but all these..
just has to be put to a stop
because the mum says so~

yup
everything takes too much of my time
which is what i want it to do in the first place
because all these.. made me feel like i belong
unlike where i am now

nope
i don't feel belong-ed or even needed at home most of the time..

and yes
ibu approves of nothing..
not even a brand new person in life..
and he isn't even in it just yet..

and this quiting thing..
it ain't working for me..
i thought i could do it..
i really thought i can make it..

but i realise that there are withdrawal symptoms that i have never realised before.
and no.. i cannot live with these withdrawal symptoms..
not with no support around.

i don't have endang
i dun have chiron
i have no more fyp~
and i dun have anyone close enough to turn to
my GFs are bz with their sch~
D&J~ bz with their life; work sch bf..

even if they can be here for me at other times..
it won't be enough for me to pull thru this withdrawal symptom thing~
cus i know i need more attention then i get.. and ever got.

i don't know what to do.
i just have to do away with somethings to make me feel better.
i'll do away with twitter for now
that is seriously and honestly where most heartaches come from

i'll do away with you for a while and see if i can take it
which i don't think i can. =\

how about doing away with my life?
end it right now..
easy, won't it be..?

the only thing ibu approves of now is dance
and yes..
dancing makes me happy.
so i should start right about.. weekends..?

i don't know what to do
and im breaking a tear.. or two..
shoulder please...

i just blog hopped
and guess what~
quiting smoking has some side effects which i don't even know about~!
cool shit~
haha

so..
it might mean that these mood swings, or so to speak, is caused by my want to quit?
WOAH~
so what now?
start smoking??
pfft~ hell no~

i need to save up bucks okaay~
X_X

omg~!! i read up on the first part which is
"Anger and anxiety"
and tadaaaaaah~ i found my answer!

so i am not a bad person after all..
=)
but still~
it kills me being liek this
being angry at all the lil things and turning all the small lil tiny possibilities into rage~
that sucks.

what more..
i kinda need and want attention
and when i don't geddit~ i'll turn it to rage~
gaaaah~
worst still
Ibu will add oil to fire~
-____-" fuck that part
cus she will always say; "kau tak habes2 nak marah. bende kecik2 pon nak marah."
and more things which i don't bother to remember, or even listen
cus i would turn super angry and i'll stomp away~
*rolls eyes*

i still have eight days left..
can i do it..? hmm..~

i don't know what is going on inside of me.
envy?
jealousy?
irritated that i don't get something that i want, thus turning into rage..??

ouh this suck very much alright.
and i have never seen this part of me before~
i am dead serious

i am one hell of a positive thinker
well..
that would be WAS
i still want that part of me.
it is depleating.
help..?

when i walked to the busstop
one voice was saying "he will follow"
another was saying "he is an idiot"
and yet another was saying "you can go home alone, like you always did"

WHATHEFUCK RIGHT?

so what now?
i have one devil and one angel in me? plus myself???
not wokring yo!

when the fone vibrated
one said "confirm him. idiot take so long to reply. don't read la"
"don't read. confirm heart pain"
then i thought; "what if it was important"
"DON'T READ~! confirm bad things, and make ur heart feel worst"
then another voice said "just read. you might not know if it would calm you"

WHAT THE FUCK!
this is no joke
laugh all you want kay~
but i am dead serious~

i was arguing with the voices in my head
obviously the 'devil' was stronger..

it took from Newton all the way till half-way on the highway for me to read the mxg~
and i only replied when i was reaching..

take away all these voice in my head please.
someone help me please please pleaseee..

i don't know what else to do
it hurts me so badly
and i just hope it ain't hurting someother.

please..?
=\
='(

hey hey ho hoo~

did i mention that ibu actually allow me to go join any dance group i want to at any community center in bukit panjang..???

HELL YEAH SHE DID~!
=))

happ la of cus~
i miss dancing like forever!

okay people
when i say dance
i mean traditional malay dance okaay~

well yea~
i've been dancing since i was 6 freaking years old.
okay bedek.
first time i danced was when i was 6~
that part true..
then i joined malay dance in primary school at the age of 10 if i'm not wrong..
then i continued in secondary school..
and TRIED to continue in poly~

but DK pulled me more~
=)

but now i really really miss dancing!!!

i think i'll go talk to Cik Ju once my UT3 is over..
till then
u might just see me dancing to nothing but the music which is playing in my memory~
=)

so
here i am blogging at home
tapping on a network not from mine.
-_-"

the MIO people will come tomorrow~
lamer oi!

and ouh
i didn't go to school today
WITH IBU'S CONSENT
because i hurt my leg
and was struggling to walk in the morning

and yeah,
she brought me to the doctor's

and the doctor said i over used/stretched my tendon~
-____________-"
like since when??
hahahaa~

ouh it hurt very very bad okaaay~
=\
but it is better now~ =))
so that means i can go watch mooooooovie with the SR crew tmr~ =)
weee~

and ouh
doc say that wearing heels will help recover faster~
-_-"
i wana wear go where??
haha
i told epul about this~
and he said i cud wear it to sch tmr
-____-"
hahahahahahahaha
atie wear heels??
dunia will terbalik oii! hahahahahahahaha

i onie wear heels time raye~
or events
or with baju kurong~ u noeeeee~
not any sembarang2 day to sch~
haha..

hmm..
i'll think about heels-ing to sch or not tmr~

till den,
I HATE MY NEW HAIR FOR NOW~
shud haf js asked ibu to layer it fr me seyy.. pfft~

still contemplating on this skin..
ouh well..

right now i am just too cold to continue any work!

i'm gna pack my stuffs and hit homeeee~

ayah not at home~
so i can sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep~
hehehe..

ya yaa~
gta do the laundry and all..

and ouh~
i have send-ded the fone for service~
=))

alurh..
but i never save the mxges..
=\
but its okay~
i got better mxges locked in this fone~
nak bace..?
TAAAAAK BOOOOOLEEEEEEEEEEEEH~
haha~

okay done-ded~

partially satisfied with this..
wait till i have soooo much time in hand, i'll do my own blog skin~ =)

new year, new bloggie~
hopefully new me too la yer~

less of the marah2 gurl
less of the emo2 gurl
none of the smoking partner *insyallah*
less of the jealous2 gurl ouh.. tak ekh? hehe

new life maybe..?
let's just hope and pray~ =)