yes.
i am just tired.
of everything..

of trying to be the good girl
of trying to be the best
of trying to understand things
of trying to be everything every-different-one wants me to be

everyone expects everything from me.

atie this atie that
kak ti this kak ti that
nurul this nurul that

i am just tired
i am just so tired

why?
why can't everyone just stop telling me to not be me?
why??

you must wake up first
you must go to school
you must score and go to uni
because your sister repeated one semester and didn't go to uni. FUCK!
you must stop working
you must not go out with him, her, them, that girl, that boy, that group of people
you must stop your adfditional activities
you have to reflect
you must not be jealous of him, her, them, that gurl, that boy, that gruop of people
you can only do dance. not dk not drama
you must wash the fan.. blablabla
you must iron your clothes
you must clean your room
you must clear the bin
you must eat the food
you must this you must that

I AM TIRED
I AM JUST FUCKING TIRED
OF EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING

what if i cn't do it?
what if i just cannot manage to achieve everything that everyone ask from me?
doesn't anyone think of it?
what if i break down?
what if fail?

how far more do everyone have to push me now??
i am tired..
can someone just ONE person see it..?
PLEASE..
i am just so tired

must i faint and fall ill then everyone would start to panic..?

everything is just beyond my means..
yet i stretch to try to grab it
for the ones i care so much for..

but if i mean nothing to these poeple..
because they only think of themselves when they tell me to do things..
then i might as well stop..

i am tired.
i really am tired.

after the 12th
i just wana be a poor kid
resting at home
doing her own stuffs..

i am just tired of trying and keep failing..

and sometimes i just wonder..
how am i suppose to get things done to whatever they want me to..
when none of them came to guide me thru..

sometimes i feel dissapointed
with myself cus i just can't do it.

but other times..
i'm just sadden by the fact that these people i care for don't see how much i struggle just to reach out for what they want me to get.. for themselves..

tired.
i really am..