okay this time i didn't really shop till i spend more than a hundred la..
if i did..
i'll kill myself. haha

this time i bought my shoes~!!!
weeeeweet!!

but i still feel like buyin that adidas leh..
VERY COMFY~!!!
i think i should haf bought that one first..
hmm..
not..

i bought Vans just now..
like finally..!!!

it is a similar cutting to what i want
different material.
but still black~ =))

yeaaaah!
but a bit tight la..
that's why i am wearing it now..
no blisters please tmr *cross fingers*

i wana buy another 2 shoes
one of which is the Adidas one i tried at bata..
OOOOUHMIIIIGOOOOD!
its really super comfy okaaay!
just hope my size still available =))))
and one just a normal, basic, pointed at the front girl-y shoe..
=)))

and i know right..
my wish list states my must get is #2 for this month..
but i think HP n HP line can wait..
shoe.. no no.. cannot wait..
the hole is getting bigger~!!
hahaha

so yeah..
here's the list of things i've bought

2 pairs of tights from cotton on
a dress from cotton on
a black dress from idk-wat-shop @ far east plaza
2 new tubes
a set of slualalam..hehe

AND AND ANDDDD~!!!!
a brand new pair of black VANS shoes!!

yeaah!!

i think i should limit my shopping to $200 next month..
but to think that i'd be buying a new fone and sign up for a new line..
maybe i'll cut it to $100 only la..
maybe just the pair of shoes.. plus a new pair of pants for work..?

i should really be saving up since i wana enroll for bike!
wotwoot!

for now i better start charging my mp3, else the bus engine would be my "music" yet again..
and continue the vlookup, hlookup and pivot table research thing..

bye sumer!!
=)))

OMG! yes!!
i shopped like giler!
okay bedek..

i bought what i need-ded..
tights.. that's what i need.
since my current one.. which is like a year old PLUS is almost koyak-ing already
haha..
so a bought 2 pairs at cotton on..
standard..
2 for 25.
but cheat my feelings sey
cus the promotion states 2 for 20.
but i ended up paying 25.
haha.

i bought a dress too!
but i didn't try it on.
my reason..
i just wana buy something
so if i try it and it doesn't fit, what other siza was i suppose to take..??
hahah

but yea.. it did fit
but it din't make me look nice..

but no wories..
cus i bought another dress..
one that i liiiikkeeeeeee so so muchies
that i've been wanting to get!

BUT!
i was dissapointed
cus i didn't get to buy what i really wanted to..

A FREAKING PAIR OF NEW SHOES!!!!

like seriously
my basics are like flatter than ever
and smellier than anyone can ever imagine!
phew!
went around Far East w/ Jay..
THOSE VANS WERE SUPER HOT I TELL YOU!
but too bad..
vans gurl cuttings are small
and they only carry up to 39
and that is if ur lucky..
looking at their cutting..
maybe i gta grab 41!
=\\

so sadded!
BUT REALLY!!
it is very niceeeee!
i wish there is a potion which can make my feet shrink 2 size smaller.
kay fine.. one would be good enough..

HAHA KAY FINE!
ther's no such thing..
but i just wish mah~ cannot meh..? hehe

ouh..
went to BPP just now..
went into royal sporting house..
and i saw an Addidas shoe..
LAWA LA SEY!
den again..
all these gurl cutting shoes only available till size 8 or 9 the most.
pftt~
i very sad and angry and disappointed leh~

maybe i'll get a pair of crocs..
JUST maybe..

i've paid my bills..
topped-up my ez-link for the whole month.. or so i hope =)
paid my bill..
paid Ayah for the lappy this month..
i still owe kak N 5$
rokok dah abes..

but i think i can still survive..
i need a banking book la..
must rec one day i spend how much..

AND IM GNA ENROLL FOR BIKE LICENSE SOON!
soon is like next month la kot..
haha

tsk..
but think not..
i wana open up another bank acc..
campak all the cash i need to save there..
then only i can enroll..
if not..
money all disappear!

OMG!
i better sleep now..
or i'll b sleepy~
bleah~

gud nyt all~

OUH DAMN I MISS YOU GIRLS TO THE BITS~!!!

seriously bebs.. i miss you girls to the core!
when when when ouh when in the world are we gona meet up..??

AKU RINDU KORANG MAX!
sumpah tak bedek..

ouh.. i remember this is Hala's fav line
"sumpah tak bedek"
haha.. im stuck w/ the line now..
haha

we meet up soon pleaseee..
soonest wokays! =))

actually..
im shocked that i still have cash in the bank..
two more weeks to next pay in..
I STILL HAVE CASH!!
alhamdulillah =)

but then again..
i still have to pay for the laptop..
i have yet to re-contract my phone line and get a new phone..

AND..
i need to go shopping..
i forgot how stress relieving it is to go shopping~
with cash of cus..
if ur hoping to relief stress by shopping w no cash in hand..
you're a dumb bitch.
hahahahahaha

so i need to smoke now. bye

was out with the bebs after work just now..
met up at Jurong.. cus member low in cash

its okay beb.. i feel u at times..

we talked and laughed so much!
i loike!

forever and always
this thing will strike upon me.
*atie dun like*

dee: ni baru phase one.. sumer baru abes skola
lau phase two..?
atie: phase one sumer baru abes skola
phase two sumer dah tunang.. atie finally ader boyfriend

hahaha

ok teet
but inside i do feel alil left out
like they seem to have someone to lean on whenever anyone of us aint around..
sad la yes.
cry wif me? haha. dunid kay~ =)

BUT!
if i do have one..
*one fine day.. insyallaaaahhh!*
i'd make sure he'd bring me to alllll the places i want to go
unlike tha.. ok teet!
dun nid to compare to either of them

yea~
i do miss having a bf and being in a r/s
esp wen u see ur eldest getting engaged
ur youngest havin a bf and is already accepted by the fam..
and ur gurls are like happily *or not~* attached..
and gona get engaged soon! =))) *hapi oi aku!!*

let's just hope i bump into some nice person in the hospital kay~
like the s/n ke.. *tu hensem.. shh!*
like that doc ke.. *tu pon hensem. hensem giler!!*
haha..

but i guess its best if he aint working there..
that is gona suck
and i aint gona make it happen for the second time
thank you very much!

yes boy. im still sick of your bullcrapt!
but they say..
if he let you go
= he loves you
so thank you for loving me

yea really
thank you for knowing that u aint the best for me, thus letting me go
tho w/ no reasons what-so-ever
im still thankful of it

but i usually-always am thankful of everything..
alhamdulillah. ibu n ayah tot me well enuf =)

so im off to sleep
with an almost full bladder.
hoping to dream of the s/n.
kau hensem tau tak???
maaaak ai.. blh pengsan aku teringat plahotak kau.
haha.

nyts lovelies =)

AND NYAH!
aku rindu lepak nan ko la ekh..
haha

just felt abit old school
enjoy

dangs.. here i am blogging early in the morning..
okay fine..
it's almost 11am..
not like 9 or 10 am or something
but still..
here i am blogging just as i wake up
okay bedek. i managed to change the bedding for the dumdum notty hamster.

and why am i blogging..?
cus of all people i dream of anwar.
ouh i hate his second name.
and i don't usually call people by their first name.

anyway..
YES
of all people it has to be anwar.
wtf?
omg now anwar sounds so pelik and unrecognizable. haha

i dream i went to his place with the sisters..
but he wasn't around.
yang pelik nyer..
he has brothers instead of sisters.
haha

ok then we went into his room
IT WAS FILLED WITH PICS OF HIM AND GURLS
EEEEE~! tak ke disgusting?
like he was some casanova or something..
i was disgusted at the sight okay~ -_-"
pics of him kissing diff gurls all over.
*pukes*
and one particular collage of him and a gurl
i bet that was like his latest gf..
like there's heart-shaped signs here and there..
lipstick marks on his face

but the gurl i don't know..
i mean if it was his latest..
i still know per.
*shakes head*
kay that's besides the point

then i found another picture..
it was an album cover.
DIER ADER ALBUM LA SEY!
he has his very own cd album..

and i don't know how possible..
but the album has the fan's list on it..
AND I WAS IN IT.
"Atieekqaah; Atie" was in the fan list

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!

but it still disturbs me to have a dream about some casanova
O_o"
and that the pic of his "latest" gf isn't his suppose-to-be gf now.
haha..
pat dlm sane ade kenal2 nan prompan ke..?

okay teet!
time for me to shower and head to work.
toddles lovelies~! =)

im still not over this..
my head can never think on the spot!
it can never come out with all the things i need it to at the exact moment of time!!
gna get on my nerves soon!
pftt!!

ther's one more thing which keeps me from staying..
i think im just too young..
i still wana enjoy life dok..
i wana go out
have fun
go lepak here and there with my friends..
while i still have them.

not like i have none at work..
but it ain't the same la kan?

ouh well..
i can never go back on my words ey?

i mean..
since when have i done it..?
have i ever..?

i know that when i give my word..
when i put myself into something..
i WILL commit..

but seriously..
am i forced to be an adult?
yes..
i knew from the start that people expect me to be an adult
cus i have managed to go over to the working environment..

but..
*ther's always a freakin but laaa*
but am i of the right age..?
kay fine.. let's not talk about age..
am i in the right state of MENTAL STEADY-NESS?

and i have always had this problem of not being able to believe in myself when the people around trust in me enough..

like the time when i was promoted to VP in the Club..
-_-"
that was bcs..
#1 manpower suck
#2 i was the only one the 3 seniors saw commitment and effort in
hey. being in the club has never crossed my mind
i was literally forced into the club
cus my friend pulled me in to join it
i didn't even know there was such a club in school for the Science students. -_-"
i know what is responsibility
i know what is commitment..
the thing is..
im not bothered about it.. more often than anyone knows or would bother to care..

and the other time when Cikgu wanted to vote me for the head for Endang.
this was back in yr 1 going yr 2 too..
i don't believe i could do it.
i talked to some of the gurls
they said they believe that i could do it..
-_-"

i mean it's not like i don't want it..
it's just that i don't feel that i am up for it..

but yes..
i have to learn to trust myself..
i have to learn to think on my own feet
*not like i use my feet to think ey!*

i still need time..
i know i am suppose to be an adult already..
but somethings can't be helped.
i am trying
i am trying NOW

i don't expect everyone to understand..
but please..
do me the kindest favour by supporting me.. please..?

i know i am not the best
i never was, never have been.. but have always wanted to be the best i can be..

im easily placed at guilt.
and i hate that feeling..
and this is one more thing i have to learn to do away with

SO MANY THINGS, un-list-able if i were to list it all, FOR ME TO IMPROVE ON..
TO DO AWAY WITH..
i know
i do realise that now...
but i ain't no super hero who can change over night..
who can be that one perfect lil miss..
i am not superhuman..

and never in the whole wide world have i ever intended to hurt anyone in anyway possible..
i am just a humble 19-year old girl
who have yet to turn 20.. in SIX months time..

i have only a lil amount of people who know me well and understand me and support me
i don't wish to me the opp more.
and honestly
i don't feel support from the family..
how much worst can it get?
would anyone find the probability for me..?

time to sleep.
and i still think i want to enjoy..
but to think of it..
if i can juggle my things back in school..
i don't see *yet* why i can't here..

im still taking things at a positive note..
i have to.. now esp. =)

woo-op!

yeaaah new pink lappy..~!!

and thanxxxx youuu mister NS boy in 4 days
haha..

okay.
that's it
i have no mode for nice smily updates right now.
i hope work would be good for me. =)