havent been here much ey..?
my nose hurts from the dust..
ok tet~

while i was gone..
i had d time of my life..
being attatched to one of the best person in the world who never fails to make me laugh and smile with his stupid jokes every time we meet..

but jealousy just got the better of me..
2 more days & i'd b 3 months w him..

he is gone now..
blown away w all my expectations of having a someone who would look after me..
iy hurst so bad..
i cant concentrate at work..
i keep myself bz at home by playing games on the fone..
i cant kip my mind of him..
it hurts too much..

one reason why i was w him was because i was touched by his life story..
he was in such deep shit & noone cared..
he tried to pray for the better but he got nothing till he gave up..

i wanted to give him hope..
i really did..
i wanted to guide him to a change..
i seriously did..

but i wasnt prepared for the worst..
& he was half ready..


but for everything he is & everything he issint..
i love him still
i wanted to be there for him.. for everything
to b his pillar
to b his strength
to show him tt he stil has a reason to live
to assure him tt he cn & shud stil belif in God..

but i failed..
i failed miserably..
i failed so bad..
im a failure..

all i can tink & worry abt is him..
is he eating fine..
did he wake up on tym for work..
is he finding a better job to secure his future..
is he moving on gud w his lyf..?
is he doing better w/o me?
did he find someone who cud change him more den i cud..?
is he havin a gud nyt slp? a gud rest?

i xnt stp cryin..
i miss him so much..

i js wanted to make lyf btr fr him~
what was so rong abt tt???
y m i punished & was saperated frm him??

for everything you are & you're not.. i love u frm d bottom of my shattered heart..

so fast..
too fast.
i wish recovery would take this fast..